When choosing an inconvenient truth to focus on I thought about choosing something about how all humans are judgmental and how that is a natural instinct in humans. Well that issue does bother me a lot, but one that has seemed to be a problem for me lately is time. Not just how much time there is in a day, but how much time we all have until certain things happen; we have about 3 months until college, 4 years until freedom.. or until crash and burn? With so much changing in my life and the lives of my peers right now, I feel like time is slipping through my fingers. I only have so many more family dinners until I will have to wait months to just sit down at a table with my whole family. I only have a couple more months to go over to my boyfriend's house whenever I want, and then who know what will happen to us when I am in college? I always thought that I would be ready for this change, running head on into it, embracing it. But now that it is finally here I cannot help but think about all of the things I need to do before my life gets ahead of me.
One of the scariest parts about this change is that no matter what there will be some people I have made connections with in high school that I will never talk to again after we walk across the stage. Why does life work that way? Why do we make connections with people that we will not have the will power to care about in the future? In 30 years, how will I know if the guy I made jokes with in math class for the past 3 months with has a family or has moved to Africa?
I know that I should accept that this is just how life is and that I will have a great life ahead of me and all of that. But I cannot help but think that there has to be some way to make better use of the little time we have left before certain events. I wish there was some type of pause button that we could have for ourselves so the amount of time thinking about what we want to do isn't wasted from the time we have to do them.
Of course we all have the inevitable event of death that time will always be too short for. But sometimes I think that if only there were 25 hours in a day, 8 days in a week, 366 days in a year. If only there was just a little bit more time I would actually be able to accomplish what I would be able to.
Since there is no changing the phenomena of time, I will cope with it eventually. I feel like sometime in my mid 50s I will feel accomplished about something which will let me know that time was finally on my side. But for now I will just make the most of the time I have because the inconvenient truth is, there are not 25 hours in a day.
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